OK

I woke up this morning and seriously considered the safest and most painless way to commit suicide.
It's over folks. The things I have tried do not work and I'm not sure I want to spend that much more time fooling myself. The last scan showed no improvement. This thing is not budging. My life has utterly fallen apart and will continue to do so. I have no hope for the future. Prayers are useless and your God is dead. Seriously, what's the point? Are you going to call me a coward for considering this, based under what I'm facing? Fuck you. Fuck my useless friends, fuck my controlling parents, fuck God, and fuck everyone reading this. Talk is cheap, cancer research is utterly useless, and this world is going to burn slowly and it will be your fault. I don't want your pity or your charity. Useless. What I do want is to burn every last bridge I have built. I want you to see how vicious, apathetic and ugly I can be. I reserve the most scorn for those who thought they were better than me, I want to rip off your head, shit down your neck, and piss on your grave. Come on, do your worst, hit a cancer patient, if you want people to hate you and banish you. None of you were there when I needed you the most and now I'm head down in the ground waiting to die. 'Oh he's over dramatic'. Fuck you, your empty life, your ugly children, your crappy house, your hypocritical mind, and all the rest. You are the reason this earth is going to toss you away like an infection, you loveless cunts. I'm rooting for global warming to wipe all these fucking smug Westerners off the planet, I hope the ones that hide and think they're safe, get the worst of it. Really. There's no joke here, there's no cymbal crash, the only thing I got for you is fucking bitterness. I'm not going to be saved. This thing is going to fucking kill me, painfully and slowly, unless I find a way to die with dignity. If the headaches become unbearable I'm going to Switzerland. If you don't like any of this, suck my fucking cock.