13-10-10

Five days till my scan result. Either way I will be saying, My God.

I watched Nanking. My God. And it's still happening to that extent.
I watched Spaced. My God. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. I will watch more tomorrow.
I watched Children Of Men, well, the best scenes and the extras.
The main points - A great portrait is more you than you. The best work uncovers the truth, ultimate reality. Utopianism is a dream - an important one, one that we have stunted. Isolated individuals have as much power as a state, with different ideologies. Contact, information change, and human mobility have been accelerated to the point of lack of control. Global warming will create environmental human migration, the privitization of land, and civil war. We have overshot the capacity of the planet to sustain us. Climate change is irreversible and we must understand it first before we learn to cope or we will fail.
We lack a basic worldview of totality, so the only option left for socially fractured communities and bands of political groups is fear of any given idea. It leads to a form of infertility: only shallow pleasure and fear can mobilize us all.
Humiliation and fear dominate the contact of populations - humiliation in the powerless from the powerful, leading to fear. We are so afraid of what will happen, we accept torture, genocide, and any transgression of humanity.
When perfection becomes primary, and life inteferes with systems and texts and perfection, that almost inevitably leads to fear and hatred. Dangerous utopias cannot co-exist with other systems.
The true utopia is the end of history.
In capitalism, economic inequality is acceptable as the engine of itself. Inequality brings richness. Abuse of power is thus legal. Suffering is a product of what we consider 'desirable'.
Our system thinks like a drug addict - it moves forward like a machine, feeling terrible and then wanting more.
The Earth gets fevers to deal with infections. We are the infection!
Walls are appearing everywhere. Economic frontiers are an obstacle to that end in globalization, but with people boundaries are still kept.
Globalization does not so much destroy culture as create a generation gap: old people stay, new people move to another culture to find identities. Membership - particularly if you are a migrant - becomes a problem. The global 'green zone' is another kind of membership where international culture and NGOs is installed in a country, replete with technology. When walls inevitably break down, those green zones are weaponized.
The real walls are INVISIBLE...and in the mind.
We are now in a cycle of economic and environmental crashes. This is climate apartheid - the poor will drown, the rich will build their green zones, states, and points of membership, and think of more ways of generating profit. This is environmental genocide.
We cannot act on global warming because we know it's true.


But personal alignment does work. I spent an hour in bed just meditating in bliss. I might be back very soon with good news.

Jessa will be coming in about 2 months. I'm....80% happy and 20% 'what the HELL am I doing?' I want to reduce risk. I want to not hurt a soul. I want to be sure I'm not making a terrible mistake. Yet she has shown sweetness. And light. And friendship. More so than nearly anyone I can think of outside my family, and that gives me cause for a big smile. I want to let her in...so...let her in.