03/10/10

There's something wrong when people put up clips of their fast foot technique on YouTube, with the insinuation that they are a better drummer because they are the fastest. If social status is their aim the only thing you win is a bunch of fanboys who want to suck your dick, and I don't swing that way. What a sad prize, and he never needed to go for it because self esteem, and being inspired towards a goal just because you want to do it, is utterly unimpeachable. Of course, you can't graft that reason as an excuse over your current action because you'll still be motivated by a bunch of essentially unprovable lies. Your girlfriend has no way of knowing that you have the best cock ever, even during *incredible* sex, and you have no way of knowing that you have the fastest feet, just because someone told you.
It's OK, though. Meditation is the key, right? There's nothing you have to do. So farewell to the current paradigm entirely, because who I am is more than gizmos and war. My standards are raised and I can't lower them because I can't untwist my mind from any of what it's seen or understood, as much as others would surely like me to so that their artificial social status would not be challenged. So it's the end of the line for this way of thinking, and I have to start all over again, with the same problem in mind, and progress with my new data in heart, and full awareness. The latter sometimes eludes me because I know all too well, that I am a product of my environment. The 5 people closest to me are my average. The world has provided me with language, and culture. But it's not MINE. Awareness goes deeper than you could fathom.

Speed is a numbers game, and I leave numbers to trig students and accountants. I want to live, and if numbers appear in that process, fine. Emotional flow beats speed, and that's closer to the nature of spirituality and true happiness than anything else, that is to say - trust your heart.
Music comes from the soul, from deep feeling of current circumstance, and trying to burn yourself out running is like having blinders on to your full self, who uses everything in concert.

An example - I am doing no-mind meditation to a video waterfall. This here is the pinnacle of concentration - see how long you can NOT think anything at all, and just listen to the sound. After a couple of sessions of that, things start to change. ..ciao.