How are they all so healthy! Damn them. Ugh. They make me stew and steam. I wish I could be like them but I'm not, I'm worse off and I hate it and I have lots of unbeatable momentum on it. They make me grasp and grapple in icky, horrid loathing but I cant do anything! Ugh! So, rotten and fake and yuck yuck, yuck! Why can't I have a body like theirs? They make me so MAD, they should count them selves as lucky that they are so happy and healthy. Just wait, something'll get them and then they'll be sorry, all their money and wonderfulness won't save them. Yuck. I'm all broken down and they're, so perfect and wonderful. It must be so terrific for them to know how to live and play and be free. They are all so beyond reproach and being up on their ivory tower must be really, really great! Why can't I have what I want? Why can't I get my vibration up to their level? This is really important to me, they have it, I don't, and I want it! Now! I WANT IT NOW! I WANTED IT YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE THAT AND THE DAY BEFORE THAT, AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, AND I NEVER GOT IT AND THEY DID. Lucky buggers, I hope they're pleased with themselves. I want the hot bride and the big house and the recognition! I am greedy and want the stuff of life but can't have it because those buggers beat me to the punch! UGH! WHY even bother when someone else wins your prize? What's the point? Yuck. I can't believe it TAKES ME THIS LONG TO GET GOING. I WANT TO BE HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND RECOGNIZED LIKE I EXIST, AND I WANTED IT YESTERDAY!
They make me feel BEYOND TERRIBLE AND TIRED AND BORED AND FULL OF FURY!
I DESERVE THE RIGHT TO EXIST! I WANT TO BE FIT AND HEALTHY AND WELL AND GOOD AT SPORTS JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM! MORE THAN ANYTHING I WANT THIS, BUT I CANT HAVE IT!! Ugh. Bastards. Making me feel insecure and unwanted like you have ANY power over me. I'LL SHOW YOU. It's not fair that you have all the power and fire and zest and passion. IT'S NOT FAIR!
No comments:
Post a Comment